Synchronicity Somewhere between Heaven and Earth and O2yoga

Jessica Magnin

My next-door neighbor, a sandy haired girl, a few years older than myself, taught me about being in the right place at the right time. I grew up in the corner house of cul-de-sac in a residential area. Nine homes created a horseshoe shape and were backed by a thin alley lined with over-stuffed trash barrels. My parents had banned this area as off limits for any adventure, discovery, or even peeking as it was considered to be dangerous. My neighbor believed differently and promised me that at certain opportune moments during random days, hidden treasures could be found right in the middle of our neighbor’s trash! She explained that in order to uncover these hidden treasures I had to be acutely attentive with the full palate of my senses.

On hot summer days we would slip through the back wooden fence and enter the kingdom of possibilities. Moments of anticipation and excitement overflowed into fantastic findings from tiger eyed marbles, to plastic jeweled rings and even shiny coins. The possibilities were endless! At 7 year of age, I had never heard of the word serendipity and probably couldn’t have pronounced or spelled it correctly even if I had. Serendipity is defined as having the knack or a natural talent for finding the unexpected or finding something by accident. Were these findings accidental, strategically planted or part of life’s greater plan? At that age, I was mystified by the magic of life and never thought of tainting the excitement by the logical mind.

Even though this game of treasure hunting in the back alley of my home came to an end by the age of 12, my capacity for being attentive never ceased, and actually continued to grow. My neighbor, without knowing it, had taught me the art of watching for signs that lead to hidden treasures. The more I was aware, the more I noticed how encounters and experiences began to reveal themselves as stepping stones leading me exactly where I needed to be at each moment of my life. At fifteen, I came to the conclusion that nothing was accidental in my life and the word serendipity could no longer describe the perfect coincidence of events that streamed together like a golden thread.

Thirty-four years later, just weeks after Entre Ciel & Terre’s move was finalized, I found myself walking in the midst of a bustling crowd in Bordeaux’s train station. My mind was occupied, processing the ‘’letting go’’ of the new name for our new center that had manifested after numerous early morning meditation sessions. For weeks we had been toying with the idea of a total change, not just a move. Mutual synergy was important for us and for the energy of the center and therefore we needed to agree wholeheartedly on the new name. It was obvious that the name that had surfaced in my mind was not the right one for both of us and I trusted that something else would appear at the right time, in the right place.

Back to the over-crowed train station in Bordeaux, lost in the thought while still processing the ‘letting go’ of the name, my phone rang. Startled, I dug down into the pocket of my rain jacket. Alex, the host of the retreat center where I would be leading 12 students through a transformative 7 days of seeing the truth, called for our whereabouts. I stopped in my tracks in hopes of finding a marker or a sign that would allow him to easily locate us. A sign, larger than I could have ever imagined was there, right before my eyes. A flash of synchronicity, the art of being in the right place at the right time communicated louder than any doubt. In bold emerald green letters was the name O2 café. I had never seen O2 associated with anything but oxygen from my freshman year of chemistry. Ironically, O2 was the same name that continuously kept popping up in my mind like a broken record again and again and the same name that I had just minutes before ‘’let go.’’ My heart skipped a beat but my breath was steady and a moment of deep knowing, called pragnya revealed itself. It would have to be O2 and no other. This was who we had become and would carry our students and us on our continued journey of uncovering the Self, the spark of life.

So, why O2 yoga? They say that it’s all in the name. O2 guides and animates you 24/7 and is the quintessence of your being. It is what we constantly nag (inhale, exhale) you to do in each class, with each asana, between each thought, on and off your mat. Whether you can do the splits or handstand in the middle of the room has little importance to us but your breath does because it is the spark of your life, your spirit. The ancient yogic texts called the Upanishads, state, ‘’Breath is life and life is breath.’’

Breathing in draws life deeply into your heart and your soul and within each breath there is a galaxy of inner wisdom, of infinite love, compassion and stillness. Your next inhale sparks your inner fire, the unique light of YOU so join us in breathing life at O2 yoga.

 

Dare to fix what isn’t broken

Jessica Magnin

There is a common saying, ‘’don’t fix what isn’t broken.’’ This can literally be translated into, when something is working smoothly, leave it alone! But there is another quite provocative saying that goes something like this, ‘’the difference between a rut and a grave is only their size.’’

Entre Ciel & Terre had been running smoothly for close to 9 years to date. Peeking occasionally into the near future, we still envisioned Entre Ciel & Terre as we had always known it. The collectively cultivated energy through ongoing dedicated practices had provided a sacred space that had been the grounding force of transformation for many if not most of our students. We had all grown, including ourselves, after many years, very, very comfortable.

So why trade comfort for change and the unknown? Today, more than ever before the now must be marked with the imprint of change. Change is all around us and has always been yet now there is a certain gnawing feeling of acceleration. We no longer have idyll time to sink into deep comfort while wishing for things to be different. Those that have the courage to move toward the truth know all too well that their greatest obstacle is themselves and the choices that they make. Both contribute to a starving quota of transformation and in turn true happiness. As all sentiment beings evolve, we are no exception.

When the owner of our building announced that a potential move was in the very foreseeable future (less than 2 months away), we fearfully clung for comfort to what we already knew, Entre Ciel & Terre. This is the natural reaction in the face of change but it is also, as Pema Chödrön states, a true sign of moving closer to the truth.

Within less than 6 weeks, Entre Ciel & Terre as we knew it no longer existed. Day after day a door or a fixture would be missing, the lounge and its herbal tea disappeared until finally the electricity was cut off. We made the big move on July 10th, a paradox in itself, because we are literally just a handful of meters away.

Much soul searching had to be done before the painting and name change. We asked ourselves how we individually and collectively had evolved and where we desired to go? Had our teaching matured and where did we see it going? What would be the needs of our students in the world of now and how could we offer a space to foster those needs?

The answers revealed themselves effortlessly yet coupled with an incontestable message, ‘return to the essence of what is, life.’ This means letting go of what no longer serves- clutter, drama, procrastination, excuses, anything and everything that keeps us form moving into the fullness of our true identity.

Entre Ciel & Terre became O2 Yoga. The breath is the gift of life, In fact, without it life could no longer exist. With an average of 600 million breaths in a lifetime, we have become so busy that we cease to remember that one single breath contains the spark of life, the spark of spirit. Therefore, one might say that we have 600 million opportunities in a lifetime to remember with grace and infinite gratitude our essence, life. Barely breathing is synonymous with barely being, being alive. The breath mysteriously contains a well of wisdom; your unique blue print to live life to it’s fullest potential. You have the choice. You can choose between barely alive and miss out on life’s wonders or you can choose to breathe deeply into the cells of your being and inhale the sacredness of being fully Alive!

Join us at O2 yoga. Breathe life. Breathe love. Breathe peace. Breathe wisdom, Breathe gratitude. Breathe light. Breathe happiness. Breathe stillness. Breathe compassion. Breathe yoga. Breathe now. Breathe awareness, Breathe sacredness. Breathe.

Impermanence is permanent

Jessica Magnin

Change is inevitable, growth is intentional – Glenda Cloud
But wouldn’t it be great if we could inevitably grow by making intentional changes – A wise friend

Change aheadChange encompasses all and is occurring every second of our existence whether we are conscience of it or not. For many, change is equated with instability, insecurity and the fear of impermanence, especially our own and those we love. But, if we are truly honest with ourselves, we know, deep in our core, that impermanence, or inicca, is the one thing that we can earnestly count on. It is who we are and if we allow ourselves to witness the beauty of change we begin to notice that it touches everything and everyone without exception.

We are constantly evolving and so is life. Spontaneously, life unfolds, thus expanding only to naturally surrender to something new, and that newness is never exactly the same. We see this dance daily as the sun rises and sets, sometimes dressed in hews of pink and marigold and other times in crimson and lilac. With little recourse, our bodies grow old as we sip our herbal teas and sit in deep meditation while our thoughts, beliefs, and preferences remain forever fickle.  We experience the change of the seasons with the resigning of autumn in order to welcome the starkness of winter and see it in the surrender of our exhale which creates space for our inhale. Without this ‘’yielding’’, this ‘’letting go’’, this ‘’dance,’’ we get stuck.

Life naturally flows in a perpetual cycle of movement. Some of us thrive on change while others find themselves in a state of panic when their favourite ice cream is no longer available. In the throes of discomfort and misery, change becomes one’s favourite consort whereas on the flip side, change becomes the most unwanted of visitors while we bathe in the sweet waters of joy and pleasure.  According to the Yogic and Buddhist teachings, resisting the visit of change is one of the main causes of human suffering. We all have witnessed what happens when we close the door to change, we close down too. We are no longer aligned with the Divine flow of life that surrounds us and that lights our hearts. The gifts of the present moment become like wishes hidden in the distant stars and we suffer because we want what was‘’before.’’ For instant relief, we must yield our attachment to what was and welcome the simple flow of change to allow ‘’what is’’.

Life has a funny way of watching our backs. When we become just a bit too comfortable in the couch that has now taken over the form of our posterior, life steps in and offers change to wake us up, feel the gratitude of being alive and spark the flame of transformation. Aren’t we all here to love, learn and grow? Status quo and stagnation don’t really apply to our race. In fact, that is what we call a ‘’rut’’, or vasana and the difference between a rut and a grave according to Ellen Glasglow, is their dimension!

We are blessed with such potential and inspiration and in order to take full advantage of these gifts we must allow them to manifest and therefore transform. This means stepping out on a limb and allowing growth to step in. There are many paths to take but only two stand out. The first, being the path of less resistance which equals a rut. The second path is the path of risk and doubt, thus the path of transformation.

Someone once said that life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Your comfort zone is where you are happily and ignorantly asleep to what you are and what you can be. So when change taps you on the shoulder, you have a choice. You can either wish change away with all your might or you can invite it into your life with curiosity and most of all, faith that you are exactly where you should be right now at this moment.

And so there it was, no couch per se but feeling quite at ease with our yoga center.  Going on our 9th year and feeling comfortably attached to the energy, love and devotion that we have cultivated in this auspicious place. It never crossed our minds that a move was in store for us. But life saw things a bit differently. Entre Ciel & Terre is moving. The details of why aren’t really that important but the move will foster growth for all of us! The good news is that we are moving just meters away, same floor, same building, and same parking. The best news is that we will still be offering you great classes, passionately qualified teachers and a beautiful sacred space that continues to support your personal growth and happiness. Our current schedule is still ongoing and won’t change until July when the summer hours kick in.

This move gives us the opportunity to thank you with a big heart for your loyalty, love and devotion that you constantly share with the center and for making it what it is today, a sacred space that takes you to your soul.

Stay tuned for more details as change is just around the corner.

Wherever I go, there I am

Jessica Magnin

Until you’ve found pain, you won’t reach the cure
Until you’ve given up life, you won’t unite with
the supreme soul
Until you’ve found fire inside yourself, like the Friend,
You won’t reach the spring of life.

Rumi

The present momentSometimes we just don’t want to be pegged down to where we are because where we are is just too raw to be. Therefore, we conveniently come up with some erudite emergency exits in hopes of withdrawing from the here and transporting ourselves to a there that is void of discomfort and fear. We might believe that we can trick the mind and others into believing that just because our physical body is present that our being is too. The humble truth is, as John Kabbat Zinn coined, ‘’wherever you go, there you are.’’ You can’t ever really hide from the here. We might be able to numb ourselves through substances, or by holding our breath or even by the power of the mind, but we tend to ignore the simple equation, what goes up must come down, and it is the down that gnaws at us today and tomorrow. We might ask ourselves what would happen if we seized the here and the where we are and accepted the humble truth that, regardless of our deliberate efforts to eclipse the rawness of now, we end up back at square one, life. John Lennon said, ‘’Life is what happens while you’re making other plans’’. Life is perfectly full exactly the way it is, offering us a multitude of experiences to experience. These experiences are in themselves an invitation to live life fully and to learn. Someone caught on and anonymously left this quote behind,  ‘’experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first, and the lesson afterward.’’ And, if I might dare to add, these experiences are the sum total of who we are.

It is Christmas Day. The chalet is steeped in stillness. I unroll my mat in front of the wall heater allowing my breath and its flow to capture my awareness. It is simply delicious as will be my warm millet porridge topped with cinnamon, ginger and a dollop of Manuka honey straight from my friend’s New Zealand farm. Outside, the sky is painted a crystal blue outlining the jagged white-capped Alps. The sun projects its sheen onto a blanket of immaculate powder, fresh from the night before. It is a perfect day. I fasten my boots, secure my helmet and cautiously parallel down the slope just behind my husband and friends. It is my first run in 2 years so I am take it slowly yet I marvel at the body’s ability to remember how to shift its’ weight from right to left while carving infinite S’s into the whiteness below. Like riding a bike, it never forgets.

Third run, I pick up confidence and thus, speed. The brisk wind is whips against my cheeks, tearing my eyes. Suddenly, my skis catch an edge on a hidden patch of ice. They clumsily form an X imprisoning my right pole at their intersection. I feel a jarring in my right arm. I am flying into mid air. I try to catch my breath and wait for solid ground to secure my body. Time seems to slow remarkably down, almost to a stand still until I hit hard, head, right shoulder, face and head again before stillness sets in and a paralysing pain in my shoulder. I feel the hardness of the snow below me supporting my body, a chill down my spine, the sun’s rays peeking through the treetops, the swishing of skis against the snow and a faint voice calling, ‘’are you hurt?’’ My mind registers and I decide that it is too painful to stay here. My mind takes me to just minutes before. Tears fall. ‘’Why did you go so fast? You should have taken it slowly. How will you practice and teach yoga? Will an operation be the only solution? How am I going to manage during this 16- day holiday?’’ So much thought, no more body, no more guidance.

Suddenly my mind goes dead, calm enough to catch my breath and let it take over. Slow deep symmetric breaths pull my awareness back into my body, into the pain. Intuition, my precious companion speaks to me, ‘’you are exactly where you should be, nowhere else. This is it, be grateful.’’ At this precise moment, the NOW seeps in, swishing of skis racing past, faint words of kindness, pain shoots though my dislocated shoulder, the chill of the wind cause shivers down my spine, biting coldness against my bare skin exposed to the snow, tears falling, nausea, fingers tremble. Now, a total surrender to where I am. I breathe into my shoulder, into the pain making it larger than me, larger than this moment. I take it all in, every bit of it and allowing myself to become this pain, to feel it on every dimension with my six senses and then beyond. Time is transforming into something intangible, yet familiar. The pain is too. I move into its depths, infinitely expanding past the borders of my skin, my shoulder, past my body. Light fills my body. The pain is dissolving into something manageable.

A feeling of infinite gratitude and trust is overwhelming me and I know that this is the experience and the lessons will follow in step. I don’t want to be anywhere else and therefore, here I am, humbly human. Pema Chodron shares, It’s also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that’s sitting right here right now… with its aches and it pleasures… is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.

I am bundled in a thick wool blanket. I feel each bump as I descend the mountain on my back. The lights of the ER room blur my vision. ‘’No, no thank you.’’ I hear myself refusing the morphine. A handful of x-rays, ‘’it doesn’t look good…surgery will most likely be necessary.’’ I breathe deeply. The nurse and doctor secure my arm to my chest via a complex contraption that only a rocket scientist could understand.

Back in chalet, I am propped up against a half dozen pillows. Tears fall down my cheeks but I feel calm. Intuition sets in and guides my left hand to my inner right shoulder and beneath the collarbone. I press deeply into the fascia while directing a conscious steady flow of breath into the touch. Golden light follows. I hear the maha mrityunjaya mantra coming from the corners of the universe and penetrating my shoulder, my body and my soul.

The early morning sun timidly shines though the crack between the thick felt curtains. The night was long and yet short. More breath, more pressure, more golden light, more mantra, more freedom in my fingers, now my wrist, now my forearm. Trigger points in my shoulder blade from my mountain angel friend, then Rheiki from another angel friend. Today, day 2, I ditch the complicated contraption and allow my arm to relax where it can. More ritual. Today, day 3, I want to go home.

I am home where stillness prevails and my heart sings with joy. Day 5, a modified adho mukha svanasana calls me to my mat and I then fill to the brim, 12 bags of stuff to give away. Day 6, more ritual, more yoga, more bags. Today, day 14, more ritual, more asana, more silence, more letting go and a total of 72 jumbo trash bags of unwanted stuff to let go of. There is joy and more as the lessons pour in. I feel a strong connection with the inherent power of healing that is harbored within me and within each and every one of us. My teacher, Rod Stryker’s words chime through the chambers of my mind,‘’We know the internal fire is alive when we begin to see the beauty that pervades life itself under any and all circumstances.’’

Ekhart shares an ancient Chinese proverb along his prolific commentary, “One should not miss the flavor of being sick, nor miss the experience of being destitute”. Not an inspiring saying, perhaps, at first sight, but actually quite profound. To miss an experience means resisting, complaining, huffing and puffing (which is futile, since it is what it is already). The alternative? Choose to ‘be the space’ for whatever experience Life (the present moment) gives you. Allow the Now to be as it is. Then there is a depth to who you are and inner peace. And right action arising out of that.

Tis the season to be jolly

Jessica Magnin

Tis the season to be jolly, but is it really a jolly time of the year for all? Behind the holiday bliss, there is another naked reality. The truth is, that many souls, even those in our own backyard are suffering at this moment from poverty, illness, loss and a host of other ailments that most prefer to draw the shades to. It is at times like this that we can extend our hearts to those in need through prayer, warm benevolent thoughts, the gift of our time and of our full attention as well as monetary offerings. How do we know how much to give? My grandfather used to say, ‘’give so that you can feel it but not so much that you suffer in return.’’
Flying high

Whether we realize it or not, generosity is always available to each and every one of us regardless of our situation. As Mother Theresa reminds us, ‘’not all of us are capable of huge acts of kindness but all of us are capable of small acts with a huge heart.’’  Intention is essential. When graced with intention, one may receive even the smallest of gestures as colossal gifts.

But what does one do when the harsh naked truth hits home, and hits hard? Patanjali, in his Yoga Sutras, offered the perfect remedy for misery, depression, wanting and even suffering. ‘’Want what you have and you will have what you want.’’ This simple formula, when consciously applied is the antidote to our heavy hearts. As cliché as this ancient sutra may be for some, why not experiment during this auspicious time of jingle and lights with truly desiring everything that you already possess and observe what happens to your heart.

By wanting what you have, you instantaneously reverse the downward spiral of wanting more. There is a sudden shift of energy within, evoking an inner smile of expansion and contentment. This leads to an open heart, one that can feel, give and in turn receive. Suddenly, you began to see things from a different angle and you realize just how truly blessed you really are. There is no need to compare to others or experience guilt.  Satisfaction, or santosha in Sanskrit, is a state of being that shapes our mindset and, in turn, creates our reality of now. It is a matter of choice whether to be bathed in the water of contentment or the murky waters of discontentment.

This is the beginning of cultivating an attitude of gratitude in our own lives even for the slippery steppingstones that have guided us to where and who we are today. Gratitude helps us ‘’enjoy the little things in life because one day we will look back and realize they were big things.’’ Being grateful never goes unnoticed and always leads to abundance. The more that you recognize what you have and are thankful the more you are showered with the gift of happiness.

Take a moment every night before you drift off into a deep slumber to allow your heart and soul to be filled with gratitude for the gifts of today. For those that want to jump start the process and magnify it a thousand fold, devote daily time to sitting, just being present with the magical essence of your life and the magical essence of your soul. You will quickly notice an infinite well of joy that lies within a grateful heart. Today and every day take a breath of gratitude and watch your life transform.

So I leave you with this poem that speaks directly to the heart of gratitude and I wish you a very Merry Holiday Season of wanting everything that you have and rejoicing in every bit of it.

The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read beneath the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree. Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown, for the world was intent on dragging me down.
And if that weren’t enough to ruin my day, a young boy out of breath approached me, all tired from play. He stood right before me with his head tilted down and said with great excitement, “Look what I found!”
In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight, with its petals all worn-not enough rain, or too little light. Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play, I faked a small smile and then shifted away.
But instead of retreating he sat next to my side and placed the flower to his nose and declared with overacted surprise, “It sure smells pretty and it’s beautiful too. That’s why I picked it; here it’s for you.”
The weed before me was dying or dead. Not vibrant of colors, orange, yellow, or red. But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave. So I reached for the flower, and replied, “Just what I need.”
But instead of him placing the flower in my hand, He held it mid-air without reason or plan. It was then that I noticed for the very first time that weed-toting boy could not see; he was blind.
I heard my voice quiver, tears shone like the sun as I thanked him for picking the very best one. “You’re welcome,” he smiled, and then ran off to play, Unaware of the impact he’d had on my day.
I sat there and wondered how he managed to see a self-pitying woman beneath an old willow tree. How did he know of my self-indulged plight? Perhaps from his heart, he’d been blessed with true sight.
Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see the problem was not with the world; the problem was me. And for all of those times I myself had been blind, I vowed to see the beauty in life, and appreciate every second that’s mine.
And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose and breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose and smiled as I watched that young boy, another weed in his hand about to change the life of an unsuspecting old man.

Author Unknown

A Loophole into the Now

Jessica Magnin

IA loophole into the Nown our more lucid moments…we are capable of sensing the power and intelligence that sustains us and everything else. In such moments, it is hard not to feel touched by the sublime, by that which links all the things in the world together, by the eternal essence that is at the heart of our existence.“ Rod Stryker

With a knot in my throat and hollowness in the pit of my belly, I painfully watched the miniature airplane dot its way across the digital display screen toward the European continent. In the lower right hand corner of the screen, was where I had been, a sacred place that touched my soul. Tears pooled my eyes and spilt abundantly onto page 49 blurring the sentences as the letters bled together into abstract Rorschach-like inkblots. A week is short but then again, so is a lifetime. Time is constantly fleeting, slipping through our fingers like tiny grains of sand. Any attempt to manipulate the idea of fleetingness or grasping onto time will indefinitely end in great suffering and pain.

By experience we know this, and yet we still consciously or unconsciously dip in, and mostly out, of the present moment, clutching onto precious seconds of the past by clinging to tattered photos, dusty vases and distorted memories in desperation that we will be robbed of this moment. It is understandable why we exit the present moment when we are overwhelmed by emotional, physical or mental challenges but why do we exit when we are in the midst of joy, pleasure and even wholeness? Maybe we are more attracted to the illusion of continuity that remains etched in our minds in the form of memory and that feeds the seed of wanting than the real deal?

According to the Buddhist tradition, anicca or impermanence is one of the 3 basic intrinsic truths or marks of our existence. Life itself is in a constant state of perpetual flux. This movement is the spontaneous flow of life and if we consciously choice to dance in its cadence, we dance in harmony with reality as it unfolds naturally. Things change, we change and life itself comes and goes. This is inevitable and erroneously mistaking the impermanent for permanent drives us directly to dukkha, or suffering. According to the teachings, in life, nothing is permanent except for impermanence itself. This we can count on.

Kneeling on the emerald green felt carpet with my toes curled under in dwi pada angusthasana, I bowed three times in respect for Buddha, the Dharma (his teachings) and the Sanga (the community). Before me, a cloud of saffron robed monks with freshly shaven heads and pressed palms at the heart center prostrated in synchronicity before a larger than life statue. Deep burgundy in color, the front wall was speckled with hundreds of gold leafed statues similar in size and form. An ornate alter was pressed up against the wall and adorned with golden Buddhas of various heights demonstrating hand mudras of peace and wisdom while the ensemble was illuminated by an uncountable number of flickering flames. Six interspaced and well-worn cushions were placed at the base of the alter and reserved for the Sathu (the abbot) and the six Cho mom (the monks). The remainder of the emerald carpet was spotted with four perfectly aligned rows of five Aichua (novices) each kneeling comfortably, thus totally 27 saffron beings.

The air was dense with the heat of the passing day yet the sweet smell of incense permeated its density. A colony of tiny orange robed ants made their way across the green felt carpet stopping midway before the Buddha. The room had gone silent. Even the beat of my heart became still. Within the perfect stillness of that particular moment, a sound was born. A vibrational symphonic stream of chanting in ancient Pali pierced my heart and soul. Indescribable yet so real, I felt transported into the perfect moment, one of utmost joy, with a deep sense of being, being connected to something magnificent, something immeasurable. Time as I knew it stood still. It became infinitely full, infinitely peaceful, infinitely liberating and void of worry and thought. Eckhart Tolle wrote “as soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love – even the most simple action.” So the simple act of sitting and receiving became one of the most transcending moments of my existence where every cell of my being embodied this moment.

And then, it was gone…all of it, within a matter of seconds. Uninvited thoughts of thirst and wanting this moment to last forever filled my mind and deafened the vibrational stillness that surrounded me. In panic, I opened my eyes in hopes of latching onto a visual that would transport me back to that moment but it was gone. I searched for some loophole that would allow me to return. The more I clung to the experience the more my ears shut down and the more my mind went wild. ”How many more suat mon (chanting and meditation) do I have? Could I learn all these chants before my departure? How could I capture them, maybe on video or maybe with my IPhone? Maybe I should change my departure date and stay longer? If only my family and friends could be here to witness this beauty.” And so on and so on. Five minutes of this internal mental chatter of worry and thought and inevitably, time had passed. I once heard that life is what happens to you when you are not paying attention. I wasn’t paying attention at all. I was everywhere but here.

Then, an epiphany hit me like a rod of lightening. Suddenly, I felt overwhelmed by utter sadness and a sense of deep loss. To my surprise, my sadness wasn’t rooted in what appeared ‘’obvious’’ to me but sparked by something so divinely sublime. It wasn’t the chants or the monks that I feared loosing but that rare feeling of being whole. Through blurred vision I looked around the room and wondered how many of these monks had actually exited from the NOW and felt disconnected from their fullness? With compassion, I extended my heart out to those that too, have felt deep sadness of separation from their core and drew it back into my heart with the rhythm of my breath. The awakening of this universal sadness touched my soul and allowed me to once again receive this moment. The surface of my skin began to tingle and my senses progressively became alive, captivating the vibrational sound of stillness until it became indescribable. Then once again I experienced that feeling of wholeness, of merging with the present moment, of merging with all.

Heraclitus once said, ‘’no man steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man.’’ When we consciously step into the current of NOW the highest expression of who we are unfolds into this vast space of fullness. This feeling of fullness is always accessible to each and every one of us if we choose NOW. NOW is who we are at our deepest core, boundlessly connected to the preciousness of life. It might be cliché to say that the present moment is all we really have, as the past is no longer and the future still remains an enigma. But on a deep cellular level the present moment holds the answer to our every question, the inherent tools needed to deal with each second of our existence and the only space in which peace prevails. When we are deeply steeped in the NOW we are instantaneously gifted with our greatest inherent potential and aligned with the sacred wisdom of the universe, not as a separate being but as a whole. Tolle reminds us not to grasp onto the notion of  ‘’being’’ with our minds, not even try to understand it. We can only know being in the NOW when the mind is perfectly still. He continues with this, and with this, I will leave you. “Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”

Sengphete

Jessica Magnin

Sengphete at school, LaosSengphete left Wat Khili in early August 2011 by exchanging his saffron robe for a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. As a layperson, his first concern was to find an inexpensive place to live that was in the vicinity of the university. He found a small room just big enough for a single bed and a small dresser. Although there isn’t a kitchen and the toilet is outside, he is happy with his new home, which he shares in good company with other university students. Panee, his landlady generously offers him the use of her motorcycle that he has learned to ride and which allows Phete greater freedom to discover Luang Prabang.

While living in the monastery, he never had to be concerned with food. The monks receive 2 meals a day from local lay people. Therefore, Phete has had to learn to cook simple Lao dishes on a small gas flame in front of his room and take advantage of the local market for inexpensive dishes that they serve up in small plastic bags to ”take away”.

Phete’s days are spent working at a local guesthouse where he works as a receptionist and helps out in the restaurant when breakfast is served. He apprenticed in August and as of September earns 50SFR a month for 12-hour days.

He completed his final exams at the monk school scoring 87 out of 93 and completed his entrance exams for law school, which he currently awaits for a response. Though his life is quite different, he carries the teaching of Buddhism in his heart and is adapting well to this new way of life.

Message from Sengphete

My life as normal person was very different from life as monk especially how to spend time in every day. When I was a monk I usually spent my time with learning Dhamma and meditate and how to become peace and how to teach people have a good heart and make a good thing. But after I stopping a monk, my heart still live at the temple and would like to do at the same thing but I am so sad that I can do it sometime because I have to work hard and learn how to live at outside world and keep my learning at law school.

I always think that if I don’t have you to help and support me, I won’t have this day because life at outside everything I have to pay.

I got support and help from you so I can find somewhere to live or sleep, have some food to eat every day and have school for study and improve my poor life to good life.

I always feel that you treat me like a son because you give me room and food to me for grow, you shown the light of love on me, you give me hope and future and you give me like air so I can breathe. This is all my feeling to you.

The Man to My Right

Jessica Magnin

The Man to My RightDoha’s International airport could be equated by many to be the melting pot of the world. On any given moment, one could take part in an international costume party of color and diversity. From incandescent orange sneakers to bougainvillea saris specked with gold, jet-black burkas and flowing white gowns topped with twisted turbans, the count, if finalized, would display- ‘’all present’’. For those who have travelled little, the Doha stopover could be considered ‘’quite overwhelming’’ and either experienced as an assault to the senses or a true cultural elixir.

It is interesting to witness the mind as the gaze shifts from one costume to another. Preferences, preconceived notions and even judgments float to the surface.  There are even stories that are attached to them, real or unreal, relating to these migrating thoughts. Some evoke deep attraction and others, strong aversion.  These are the two motivating forces that, if we are not mindful, drive us toward sukha, good space or dukha, suffering and in turn, will create a sense of infinite separation.

Flight Q89 was called to board. As always, I had pre-selected an isle seat enabling me to have the liberty to circulate when the flight becomes just a bit too long. We boarded from the back of the plane. My gaze led me down the narrow isle, counting silently with the intention of seizing my seat, 23B, from a distance. I whispered under my breath, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23…23A, 23B… To my surprise and disappointment, 23B turned out to be a middle seat where I would be sandwiched between two people for the next 7 hours!  I squished in between the two already occupied seats. To my left, a discrete woman dressed in a sky blue hijab and matching abaya or cloak (ironically defined in Sanskrit as ‘’no fear’’) and to my right, a middle-aged man in a long white gown topped with a kufi (which I later learned is a prayer cap worn by African Jews, Muslims as well as Christians) covering his bronzed head.

Slightly annoyed, I sank into my seat and shifted my body to the right offering him my back.  I wished that I was more ‘’appropriately’’ covered and or that I was seated between two women. I was startled by my reactivity, feeling my body retract and contract noticeably. Having traveled extensively throughout my life, I had never noticed any particular aversion to any culture but there it was right in my face, a moment of truth that unveiled my unexplainable reaction. I cringed with shame and humility at my own uncomfortableness and then quickly sent myself meta, loving kindness,remembering the words of Lama Yeshe, ‘’Be gentle first with yourself if you wish to be gentle with others.’’

As we left Doha and soared across the endless sky, I continued to watch, to observe knowing that this moment was the perfect teacher. I searched for obvious reasons why I needed to ‘’protect’’ myself and, as life would have it, there were none. In fact, the man to my right, from a culture I knew little about, was rooted in humble peace oblivious to my internal hysteria. I took out my book on Buddhist compassion as he took out his book. From the corner of my eye I glanced over my now slightly softened shoulder in order to catch a glimpse at what he was reading. At that precise moment, my heart became the most tender of hearts. In hand, the man to my right was holding a book on compassion with an Islamic twist. One in the same, same in the one.

There, at that moment, that perfect moment, which became my soulful teacher and which has left an indelible mark on every cell of my being, brought me something so soft yet so transformational. My heart filled instantly with overwhelming compassion and love for this gentle being to my right. I naturally I extended my heart out to him with great respect and humility. Jiddu Krishnamurti spoke of a mind that is always comparing, always measuring, will always engender illusion. He asks, ‘’can the mind be aware of its conditioning, can it look at it without any distortion, without any bias? Is it possible to look at anything, the tree, the cloud, the flower, the child, the face of a woman or a man, as though you are looking at it for the first time?’’ He goes on by adding, ‘’to observe what is, to see it, actually be familiar with it, there must be no judgment, no evaluation, no opinion, no fear’’.

I then remembered how fear of dissimilarity, of the unknown and of the misunderstood distorts the truth and causes us to judge wrongly and to search for greater differences between us. We harden and shut down narrowing the scope of the mind and the flexibility of the heart. ‘‘The only reason we don’t open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don’t feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else’s eyes.’’ (Pema Chödrön)

So the next time we are face to face with a sudden need to contract and judge, we can soften into that perfect moment, offering ourselves the expansive space to witness and connect. From there, we can allow ourselves to look courageously into the eyes of that person in search of the endless similarities between us that connect instead of disconnect. This opens the soul to the essential truth that we are all infinitely connected, sharing the same warmth of the sun and breathing the same air regardless of who we are or where we come from. Every single being on this planet without exception seeks love and happiness and, although we might appear to be individual waves, each one unique in its own way, we make up the splendor of our great oceans.

There is not a day since that flight that my thoughts and heart haven’t extended their sincere love and gratitude to the man on my right for this invaluable lesson. As they say, we never truly know whom we are dealing with. The man to my right might just have been Buddha, Mohammad, Krishna, Jesus or a manifestation of the Divine herself.

“What if our religion was each other, if our practice was our life, if prayer, our words. What if the temple was the Earth, if forests were our church, if holy water the rivers, lakes, and ocean, What if meditation was our relationships, if the teacher was life, if wisdom was self-knowledge and if love was the center of our being.”  Ganga White

Hocus Pocus

Jessica Magnin

As the 747 taxied toward the runway in preparation for departure, I secured my seatbelt, took a deep breath and settled into my seat. With my feet planted firmly into the thinly carpeted metal floor I did what I always do: I closed my eyes and visualized a ball of golden light surrounding the plane, protecting us on our journey. One could say that this ritual is hocus pocus or even psychological, but it has helped me feel better about flying all together.

Many years ago, I loved flying and had even landed a job as an airline stewardess. Soaring through the heavens offered me pockets of silent moments when my pen would come alive and infinitely expressive. Flying became an extended moment to do less, enjoy the ride and, of course, the final destination.

It was only after a few mishaps, some very rocky turbulence and having a child, that I realized that my meditation cushion would suffice and offer me the same pockets of silence with much greater comfort, at much less of a risk. Deep down we all know that life itself is a risk with little true certainty and, as Helen Keller so wisely phrased it, ‘’security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all. ” Knowing this and in order to better ‘enjoy’ the journey, I developed a handful of hocus pocus rituals in hopes that they would keep fear at bay and protect us all.

As the plane made its ascent into the heavens, I waited until the reactors assumed a homogeneous purr, similar to that of sama vritti ujjayi, long and extended and absent of any gaps or hooks. Flying 11’849 miles above the darkness of the Atlantic Ocean with 14 hours of ‘’free time’’ ahead, I opened my journal and let creativity captivate me until my pen ran dry. Periodically I controlled the ‘’humming’’ of the plane’s gigantic engines and then zapped through the hundred or so movies until I found a ‘feel good’ film to watch until it too ran dry. Again, sound check. All seemed to be A.O.K so I resumed a dance of zapping, reading, meditating, writing, snoozing and checking.

Hocus PocusSuddenly the homogeneous purr of the plane’s reactors changed their cadence and roared as the food and drink cart clattered noticeably down the aisle. The seatbelt sign went red and the pilot announced that we were entering into a zone of unexpected turbulence. Like the other 249 passengers aboard, I tightened my seatbelt and secured my tray table. Hocus pocus number one in action. I imagined the plane in golden light and breathed deeply and deliberately, instantly calming the chatter of my mind. Thank God for my breath that made peace with my fear and even seemed to appease the Weather Gods for a brief moment.

As I navigated through long deep breaths the plane continued to shake uncontrollably. I glanced nervously over at the passengers on my right and left and noticed with relief that we all have our own little ways of re-securing a sense of solid ground that makes us feel safe and content again. Hocus pocus number two in action! Mantra. Mantra is known to free the mind by stretching it beyond thought. I latched onto an ancient mantra from the Rig Veda, the Mahamrityunjaya, known as the ‘’great death conquering mantra’’. I silently whispered it (upanshu) in japa or continuous repetition. These ancient scriptures clearly state that this highly revered mantra is said to protect, release fear and overcome death, even though its reference is a spiritual death rather than a physical death. Nonetheless, with just a dozen repetitions of OM tryambakan yajamahe sugandhim… I was felling noticeably calmer because I do believe that these ancient Sanskrit words hold immeasurable energy and who knows, possibly the magical key to equanimity and smooth flying.

Hocus pocus number three was activated just after there was slight dip before feeling tossed and turned about as the plane regained control. Ishvara Pranidhana, the fifth Niyama of Patanjali’s pearls of wisdom known as Ashtanga Yoga, is the act of surrendering to something greater than ourselves. It is the art of letting go, relinquishing all control and trusting with faith and acceptance that we are animated by something larger than our egos and our financial worth. Ishvara pranidhana is a humble confidence that we are exactly where we need to be at each moment of our existence and that we are in the hands of the Divine. It is about faith in the inherent goodness of life and according to the Tantric Tradition, everything and everyone including our worst enemy and even turbulence is a manifestation of the Divine. “Only by surrendering our attachments, our unworkable belief systems, our addictive habits, and our need to control, can we truly experience the magnitude of our universal identity. Only then do we open to the abundant possibilities that exist.’’ (Anodea Judith). So, we are advised to surrender and simply ‘’be’’ with each moment of our existence.

How does one surrender when one is tossed and turned about in the turbulence of life, be it on a plane or on ‘solid ground’? What would it feel like? Scary! What would it look like? Heart racing, sweaty palms, clenched jaw, butterflies in the belly, tightness in the throat, choppy breathing, a magnitude of spiraling thoughts…What would happen if just once, instead of scrambling about with hocus pocus rituals, I remained fully open and alert to the deeper content of the moment? No judgment, no reactivity and no resistance. It takes raw courage to ‘’embrace life in order to expand the horizons of our being”. This state of being can be tranferred to any experience, unaffected by time, place or causation.

Pema Chödrön reminds us, “…Feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.”

Remembering these words of wisdom imparted by those who have seen a glimpse of the truth, I relaxed breathing into now.  At that moment, I realized that all these hocus pocus rituals were invaluable tools to help me grow and better deal with the ‘’ups and downs’’ of today and tomorrow. But really, it is the gift of the present moment that truly unveils the inner wisdom that transcends each moment.  So I sat back and relaxed with what life generously offered me while tenderly granting myself heaps of compassion, because this moment was black belt material in my book.

The Shelf Life of an Open Door

Jessica Magnin

The Shelf Life of an Open Door The shelf life of an open door is unknown to even the wisest of beings. It may be instantaneous, fleeting like your next breath or lasting more like a handful of days. The dilemma is that no one really ever knows. When there is a calling from the heart, from its deepest chambers, there is a reason, and when on the path these heart callings are the stepping-stones that pave its way.

When one hesitates, idle thoughts move in, obscuring clear vision and obstructing the reality of what is. These thoughts are founded mostly in “what ifs” and tainted by the emotion of fear, bahya in Sanskrit, the sheer discomfort of the unknown. Moving into unchartered waters can be frightening like stepping out on a huge limb or slipping through an open door into very new and possibly unstable grounds. But this is what the heart asks of us, to stay put and remain completely open to what is even when life squeezes us to close down and run for our lives.

An encounter in a far away land was the beginning of two profound relationships that were forged through loving kindness and pure joy. Through one simple email, one precise sentence on a very given day, a life changing door cracked opened for only a brief moment on a sunny afternoon and began a chain of events never to be forgotten. The call of my heart manifested louder than any obstacle and naturally things fell wonderfully into place. With the blessings of my family and friends and a round trip ticket to Laos in hand, I was more than ready to embark on what was to come.

Waiting is never easy for the human mind. It is always easier to be the first to jump into the icy cold spring waters or be the first to present one’s oral presentation at school. Waiting induces paralysis and this I know only too well. At the young age of 5, I remember our son would gently tap the crown of his head when we asked him where his patience had gone. He would intuitively reply with a small tap on his crown “it is in my head.’’ And thus my head became the center of my attention during the next four days in an attempt to “patiently’’ wait.

The wheels of my mind went round and round like a broken record playing again and again. With an average of 60,000 thoughts per day that occupy the mind of most, and knowing that 90% of those thoughts are repetitive it is no wonder why we get stuck.  FEAR in big capital letters was everywhere. The word would jump out at me from between the lines of my books on compassion, it would reveal itself as the theme of a song and even show its face in insurance advertisements. The interesting thing was this thing called FEAR was my own. Even the most conservative of my friends and acquaintances blessed and encouraged me to make this pilgrimage. I quickly realized that there was no one to blame and nowhere to hide. Fear had taken me into her grip and squeezed me so tightly that at moments I lost my breath and considered forgoing my ticket.

In my waking hours my mind resembled a ping-pong match batting back and forth with question and response. Had I gone mad? Was it really necessary to travel close to 30 hours across the big blue to some foreign land for an experience, an unknown one at that? Would these sacred relationships change, possibly even end? Of course they would change, but doesn’t everything? No one needs to meditate on the other side of the world. Meditation is “here and now” and not “there and then.” I know that! Do I really want to disrupt generations of gender tradition? Isn’t change inevitable?

Pema Chödrön says that strong emotions are like flags going up to say ‘’you’re stuck!’’ She continues by explaining that we have the choice and the opportunity to stay with the painful emotion and observe it with compassion and curiosity or shut down and run. It is naturally human to want to know what will happen next, to feel secure and to avoid uncertainty at all costs, but it is also the root cause of our suffering according to the teachings of Buddha. We trade precious moments and empowering opportunities of love and growth for our so-called security, which is constantly collapsing because there is no such thing. So, I ask myself as Pema asks us to do, ‘’ do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly or do I choose to live and die in fear?’’

Those next couple of days were spent on my cushion watching the wax and wane of my thoughts and this big thing called Fear. Watching with curiosity and compassion gave way to greater insight. I breathed her into my heart with a huge welcome and exhaled space and softness around her again and again. Soon the thoughts of FEAR became just that, the thoughts of fear, until they became like occasional clouds passing through a sublime turquoise sky.

“The next time you encounter fear, consider yourself lucky. This is where the courage comes in. Usually we think that courageous people have no fear but the truth is that they are intimate with it.’’ (Pema Chödrön) Becoming intimate with our emotions, with life and with whatever keeps us from being free is liberating. It might be said that this humbling path is counterintuitive but it is the golden gateway to surrendering to life and its fragility as well as its awesomeness. It is the work of the peaceful warrior, the one who remains courageously open no matter what. Bravery doesn’t necessarily mean that we are fearless. Being brave is rather not letting her stop you in your tracks.  It is actually “a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.”(Pema Chödrön)

Doors open and close and so do opportunities, encounters and even life itself but if we are so busy counting our thoughts like sheep jumping over the moon on sleepless nights, we miss the moon all together.  There is a solution and resolution to whatever crosses your path. Allowing yourself to become familiar with whatever life generously offers you is the path. “Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what’s out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it.”(Pema Chödrön) So soften and know that you are in good hands, the hands of whatever you are experiencing. Let her be your friend as she has many things to show you and many places to take you.