FEAR part two I believed that I had to be confident in myself and skydiving to jump. Confidence in myself has absolutely nothing to do with fear. It dawned on me that I don't have to have confidence in myself nor with what I am endeavouring to take that leap of faith. Confidence is in the faith in life, faith in this massive universe that holds me, that holds you.
Today, I move through life, often scared shitless, without confidence in myself, seizing the moments and using the energy of fear to motivate and propel me into the void of the unknown because there is some deep underlying belief that life has my back. This in itself is an act of courage. Facing my fear and its power to push me to the right action of protection, when needed, but most of the time, to jump. I can scream, and I do. I feel the exhilaration and that is the pulsation of life pumping through my veins. Practice is the path of strengthening my muscle to step into fear and befriend it. There's a lot of wisdom there and butterflies too. I bow humbly to you my dear friend, FEAR. #fearful #fear #scaredshitless #goforit #courage #confidence #yogainspiration #yogaeverydamday #sup #yogapaddle
FEAR. Fear is an interesting subject and one that most seem fearful to discuss. My Sunday workshop delving into the depths of fear and how it prevents us from moving to where we really want to be brought in a few courageous students. That's the irony- we all want to be fearless but no one wants to look at FEAR straight in the eyes and admit we are scared shitless.
I am often fearful- fear of making a fool out of myself, fear of hurting others, fear of failing, fear that no one will love me, fear that I might be forgotten before I die and then after, fear of missing out on some amazing moment and fear of letting go of immediate gratification. I know that I have come a long way because not to long ago I was fearful of standing in front of a group speaking or reciting a text. I would tremble, my heart would pound and I would cry, right there in front of everyone. The tears would blur my vision, the audience blurred behind the tears and disappeared and then I would feel safe; but very alone.
Caught in the tentacles of fear kept me in a constant state of control and it was exhausting. I tried many techniques to keep it at bay but there was always something that would arise within the day that would bring me to the brink once again. I remember the raw fear that I had as a young child laying in bed with my duvet pulled up to the lower lids and staring vigilantly out into the darkness that separated me from the scary closet that housed all kinds of demons. I slept little and was constantly on alert for something to happen. That something never happened but every night was like ground hogs day, a repetitious samsara playing out in my mind.
One night, at the 11th hour when darkness overtook my room, pulled back the duvet, grabbed one of my illuminated toys, ripped open the wooden door and shined light into the darkness. That was a courageous moment and the realisation that courage had everything to do with fear. This is when I realised that I could be scared shitless and move into the fear and jump any way.
More to follow .#fear #courageisbeingscaredtodeathbutsaddlingupanyway#lifecoach #yogainspiration #yogapath #confidence #transformation #o2yogabreathelife #jump
